brushapocalypse | how many normal people are there in mayview?

[Crossposted on Tumblr]

what’s up everybody, i’m back again with another Useless Theory Post™! since you all apparently enjoyed me obsessively cataloging the state of isabel’s hair across chapter 5, and i’m still going stir crazy in the hiatus, i made a chart categorizing mayview’s inhabitants according to how “normal” they are! and you’re going to look at it.

Before I get into it, however, here’s the criteria for whether or not i consider someone normal.

FIRST, any direct involvement in supernatural phenomena instantly disqualifies someone from being normal. Sorry, Max, you’ve been a weird psychic since day one! For this reason, I’m not going to be including any ghosts or spirits, because there’s just no question of whether they’re weird.

SECOND, I’ve also charted characters according to how weird they are as people. This is a lot more subjective, but I’ve more or less boiled it down to this: Could I have a casual conversation with them about their hobbies and think nothing of it? (Note: the kids get a whole lot more leeway in this department, because kids are weird, man.)

With that being said, let’s get to the categories! (spoilers, of course!)

first category: NOT NORMAL (supernatural nonsense)
(Contains: Maxwell Pucket, Isabel Guerra, Isaac O’Connor, Edward Burger, Mr. Spender, Dimitri Danger, Cody Jones, Mina Zarei, Francisco Guerra, Agent Day.)

perfectly straightforward, known spectrals and monsters fall into this category! (i’m not convinced grandpa guerra isn’t a ghost but WE DON’T KNOW THAT so he gets to be on the list.)

second category: NOT NORMAL (just a weird god damn person)
(Contains: Stephen, Suzy, Lisa, Dad Puckett, Mr. Starchman.)

again, pretty straightforward! i’d come out of a conversation with any of these people feeling.... uh........ something. there’s theories about lisa’s deal in particular, so her position may change, but we’re dealing with concrete information as of the end of chapter 5, so she’s in the non-supernatural camp for now!

but wait, you may be thinking, you missed someone! where’s johnny, you may be thinking, because johnny is a beloved character around here. And Here’s Your Answer:

third category: NOT NORMAL (the full package)
(Contains: Johnny Jhonny, Davy Jones.)

a special category of people who reach a new level of weirdness, managing to both get involved in their spiritual side AND exude an utterly baffling air. that’s right, johnny, i didn’t forget you’re seeing shades. and davy’s here too i guess.

fourth category: QUESTIONABLY SUPERNATURAL (also a weird person)
(Contains: Mr. Garcia, the Vice Principal.)

i’m a little unsure if these should be in a separate category from the Empirically Supernatural, since like they sure seem empirically supernatural from here. but like i said, we’re dealing in cold hard facts here! zack could very well throw us a curveball, so they go in another category!

(they’re definitely weird tho)

fifth category: QUESTIONABLY SUPERNATURAL (but otherwise normal)
(Contains: Ms. Baxter, Alex.)

this is a much more murky category. these characters are currently straddling the edge of normality, and we’re gonna need more information to know whether they count. questions that need to be answered before we can know if they’re Normal People or not: what’s up with baxter’s apparent history with zarei, what’s up with alex’s supposed aliens?

final category: ACTUALLY NORMAL PEOPLE
(Contains: Zoey Puckett, Ollie Oop, R.J, Collin Sloinne, Violet, Jeff, Principal Pleezdoo.)

this is it. there are exactly seven people in mayview that seem to be normal. i think my decision to include rj in this may be contentious considering the whole vow of silence thing, but may i remind you: kids are weird, man, and standing next to johnny? they’re the patron saint of normality.

i did, however, consider disqualifying jeff on account of his full name being Jeffavorite Flavors. every time i write it out again, my soul dies a little more. who names their kid Jeffavorite Flavors???

Thanks for reading today’s Useless Theory Post™, I don’t accept criticism!